the places you‘ll go
december, 2022

i’m sorry for going dark on you, again.  lots has been up in mira mira land.  some bad and some good and all of it spent in the physical.  sometimes it’s challenging not being in the loop, but i have come to recognize it as a measure of my own healing.  maybe one day i’ll be back but for now, i need to tune into today.  this moment.  this breath. 

another thing is that i haven’t been all that well this past year.  i’ve had lot of health bullshit going on that i didn’t want to deal with or talk about and that eventually culminated this september with a long recovery that i wish was going simpler. i’ve had to slow WAYYY down and that’s been hard for me.  patience has been a constant theme.

so back to what i’ve learned...

being authentic will radiate more healing pure energy than trying to be an ideal you.

i’ve had some extra time on my hands with little to do but rest in a still body and mind.  there is so much that comes in quiet moments: blessing, shadow, suffering, surrender.  i’m at a place on this journey where i need to focus inward, to quietly integrate some hidden stories of childhood trauma to continue my healing. i was recently reflecting on suffering and i’ve found that it’s in these moments of sorrow that i’ve actually opened myself up to more love, compassion, and vulnerability.  it’s our pain that gives us space for grace.   

if 2022 was all about 6 energy then this year for me was definitely about self-love.  the way i speak to myself and look at my life and celebrate my blessings.  it’s about being selective about where i spend my time and shining brightly without fear in places where i’m welcomed.  it’s about going where the love is and not forcing it where it isn’t.   it takes a lot of work to truly love oneself but in as much as i can cultivate this measure of self-love and kindness towards myself, this is what gives the capacity to fully love another.  of course, i will always be imperfect but finding others to grow with in this process?  what a blessing!

"i think in relationships, you create an environment with your own work on yourself, which you offer to another human being to use to grow in the way they need to grow." - ram dass

love you,