not your typical breakup post
things started to get a bit wacky a month or so ago. for someone who organizes clothes for a living and is pretty much the epitome of ocd, this sort of creeped up on me all unawares. doing laundry almost daily, putting on couch, using couch laundry to get dressed. all workout wear, sweats, cozies. all masks. fading couch. and i just let it fade. unaware that i was covering it, not wanting to deal with something. that couch, that room. not much more i need to say about it. i’m sure in the coming days, i’m going to free the couch. the cats are always sitting in there now, coaxing me back in, confused. but there are memories there and this slow-down time has finally helped me be able to process them. it’s funny how you keep busy w work just to avoid the shit. we were pretty much ripped out of each other’s lives. we were together a long time.
truth is, i have been very hard on myself these past 7 years. i put myself through a lot of hell and unnecessary cruelty because of the mistakes that i made back there. in the light of day what i found.... there is only the good stuff that remains. all the love, the best parts of our journey together only, for the both of us. we’re always in each other’s corners constantly rooting for each other. what a relief... makes my heart soar. i realized just now that i didn’t damage someone that i loved to the moon and back, because i wasn’t aware of myself. i don’t have to go back and fix anything. he is thriving!
that is the blessing.
#postquarnfeminism #lynnhershman #anniesprinkle