nothing gold can stay
march, 2021

today i had a terrible dream.  and i share this because i know that many of us have scary dreams.  today i dreamt that my cat, little buddy, the joy of my life, was having seizures and that i had to revive him to keep him alive.  and he was alive. i was able to save him.  but then my mom came into the dream and told me not to get too attached, that he would die soon, that i had to be ready.  

waking up from a dream like this can be terrifying.  i know exactly how that goes. it’s been a lifelong thing with me.  sometimes i feel like i don’t even want to sleep because i’m so scared of my dreams.  does anyone else feel this way?  my dreams have become a lot more vivid since the pandemic began but honestly, they always have been.  there is so much to learn about dreams.  so much that i don’t know.  

what i do know is about life and about the impermanence of life.  and i think that this is the most important message of my dream.  life is a dream.  life is about impermanence and letting go.  nothing gold can stay.  (ok, outsiders reference, i know...) but seriously.  if we can learn to live lightly and love lightly, and hold no attachments or expectations then we can really live.  live for what comes to us and let go of what needs to leave us.  it’s not easy and truly i’m just learning to do it as i write these words with you but yes... if we can hold on lightly to all that we have and all that we are... then we can live free.  

i’m sure that i’ll develop this thought more concretely in the coming weeks but this is what i feel now.  the more that i can stay present in my daily life, the more that i can live it.

ok, maybe this doesn’t make any sense but i have a feeling, you get me.